Healthy DOES NOT equal delicious.

Last Thursday I decided to run up and down the stairs for 20 minutes at lunchtime rather than go to the gym. As a result, my calves have been killing ever since. I can only just stand on tiptoes again. Not that I tend to stand on tiptoes often.

Just not feeling 100% today. Tried to clean, forgot about the bedroom. Decided to be healthy, because the scales hate me and keep lying just to piss me off. Made a healthy stir fry for lunch, and it tasted awful.

Days like this, I don’t want to be a grown-up. It sucks. Adults feel like they have to eat certain stuff, not because they want to or because it’s great and they enjoy it. Because it’s healthy. Because they think they have to. Screw this. If healthy food was so goddamn good, then everyone would be eating it. Healthy food is depressing. You can’t just eat healthy food one day a week and expect to be skinny or fit. You have to eat that shit every day. Cut out the bread, cut out the alcohol. No pasta, no sugar. Forget frying things. Butter ist verboten!

I hate this. I try so hard, but then I fuck up. And end up in a worse place than I was in when I started. If I could only see some sort of improvement, some sort of end-point, then I may be more motivated to get there.

The way I see it, I’m doggy-paddling, and I’m caught in a current. I’m just going to run out of energy one day, unless I can find some way to give myself a boost.

How am I supposed to comfort myself, when all I have for comfort is carrots and fucking peas? I’m sick of peas. I want fig and honey ice-cream. Hot caramel sauce. Crunchy biscuit crumbles. That’s comfort food. Soft cheese and crackers and wine. Not bloody apples. I’m sick of bloody apples.

I’ll probably be better tomorrow. Gym, maybe a bit of treadmill work. Proper run on Tuesday after work, perhaps. If I can get home at a reasonable time.

In the meantime, being a public servant sucks for being healthy. Morning teas, more morning teas. Constant stream of snack foods. I’m going to put my headphones on and trying to ignore it.

EDIT: Ah, forgot to mention. Official time for the Canberra Times Fun Run was 54:42.

Woot.

A quick race report before snoozytime

I’m feeling absolutely wiped right now, so I’ll make this a quick one and then I’ll go and have an early night.

I got up this morning feeling fine, after a fairly moderate evening. Wine, but not too much wine. Cigarettes, but… Yeah, okay. Maybe too many cigarettes. Even one would have been too many. Went to bed before midnight, as I recall. Breakfast was entirely fruit-based, and I supplemented that with half a hairy lemon tablet, two ibuprofen and an antihistamine. A bit of water, and I was ready to go.

I didn’t wear my costume, as anticipated. I thought it would be windy and horrible but it was really a lovely warm morning. Sunny. Almost too sunny, but I did remember to sunscreen myself up before I went out there. The field was big, but basically pollte and easy to ignore. I cranked my music the whole way, interspersed with pace information courtesy of Runkeeper. I didn’t feel the need to get my Garmin out. To be perfectly honest, I still don’t trust the bitch after it screwed me over in Sydney.

I went out a wee bit too fast, just a shade over 5:00 per kilometre. Because I was lacking the constant feedback of the Garmin I didn’t realise until the end of the first kilometre, and by that time I felt I was in a comfortable stride and wasn’t willing to chicken out. The second kilometre got steadily less comfortable, and by the time I hit kilometre number 3 my heart was leaping in my chest and I could imagine myself having a heart attack or some sort of fit any minute, twitching and gasping on the side of the road like a dying goldfish.

I gradually slowed through the race, but this was mostly because I was hurting. My legs kept on, but my lungs were struggling. I know, all my own fault. I do seem to recall though that there were only two water stops along the way. That can’t be right. Surely they have at least three. Surely they always did. I got a bit dehydrated along the way. I tried to spit (maybe 4 kilometres in) but I couldn’t. I gagged, almost vomited, ended up spitting all down the front of my pants and when I tried to remedy this situation I lost track of where I was going and basically ran into a light pole.

Clever girl.

It wasn’t an easy 10kms, but it was a beautiful morning and I was thoroughly psyched when it was over. So I guess it was a success. I was going to put a map picture in here with my route, but then I realised that it doesn't actually say anything interesting. The Garmin maps show pace and stuff, but I didn't have my Garmin. Doh.

I think I broke my personal best, probably by about a minute. I’m not entirely sure yet, but I’ll get the results tomorrow or Tuesday. My unofficial result at this point is 54:46, which is pretty nice. It gets harder and harder to break my records, but at least I’m still on the way up and not actually getting worse. Woohoo.

I had a nice big brunch after the race. No lunch, but a nice long nap. Leftover cake-related goodies. Popcorn. An embarrassingly unhealthy dinner, that I won’t go into here. I think I can afford it, but it’s back on the diet and back into the gym tomorrow.

Night, all.

Hmm

Not so sure about the costume, anymore. I’m running solo this year, and I haven’t had a PB in the 10km since 2010.

Getting a PB In a french maid costume doesn’t seem likely, and I won’t be comfortable. I think I’d much rather go hard, push myself til I pass out or puke. No sense in doing this if I’m not going to go all the way. I will try to survive and keep both of my legs, but anything short of that is fair game.

After a short recovery next week, I’m going to need to sit down and overhaul my training routine, or lack of routine as the case may be. I’ve been so goddamn lazy. I need some sort of 80’s movie training montage. Is Kenny Loggins still around? Can I commission him to write some inspirational theme music?

Mostly, I need to ease myself back into the marathon training. Cadbury Marathon is in January, and I want to aim for 4:30 or better. Is that even do-able? I’m going to get some new shoes in the next couple of weeks, and that may bring some bounce back into my step.

Hey, here’ s something awesome. I just discovered that this is my 101st post on this blog. Woohoo! 101 posts and exactly zero in the way of content!