Harvey Wallbanger

Improvements? I’ve got them. Worrying developments? I have them also.

I managed two effortless and maybe even enjoyable runs home last week. It wasn’t too hot. I got through it. I didn’t run Saturday, being Christmas Day. I didn’t run on Sunday, as I was hung over. I did run on Monday, and I ran 22.3 kilometres.

At 16k I felt my left ankle getting a little stiff, and my left knee was niggling a little, but I pushed through to 22.3k, almost all the way home. Almost. Then, something strange happened. My legs stopped responding to my prompting for them to run, run, keep running. This intense pain developed in both thighs. I got severely dizzy. And I stopped. And I sorta had to sit down for a bit. I’m not sure what happened. Did I hit the wall? Maybe. I wouldn’t know. I don’t think I’ve run far enough to hit the wall before. And I ate two of those little Favourites chocolate bars during the run because I was so afraid I would bonk. Maybe I built it up in my head, maybe I just gave up and I’m telling myself I bonked, but maybe I actually did have a little more in the tank.

In any case, Monday morning’s run is both the improvement, and the worrying development. My recovery wasn’t quick or easy, and I still felt a bit of a twinge in my legs this morning. And even though the distance was the longest I’ve ever gone, I’m supposed to run even further on Saturday. Maybe 24, if I can manage it. But can I manage it? I don’t even know anymore. I’m not saying I’m not going to try, because I will. I have to.

On the good news front, the entries opened for the Canberra Marathon in April, and I’ve got my entry. My bib number is A00064, which is by far the smallest race number I’ve ever gotten. Hopefully there are a FEW more people than 64 in the race.

Even though New Year’s Resolutions generally don’t get fulfilled, I still like making them. So I’ll write some tomorrow. They will most likely be running-related. I’ll post them here.

Two steps forward, three steps back

It hasn’t been the best couple of weeks for running.

I’ve managed my usual two runs home this last week, and a weekend long run yesterday, but the week before was a bit of a fail. I went to two Zumba classes, both Tuesday and Wednesday, to make up for a class I missed earlier in the term. I’ve missed a couple of runs home since the start of December, due to injury or conflicting schedules. I damaged my hamstring (only temporarily) due to an enthusiastic but inexpert attempt at a particular Zumba bhangra track. My achilles has been playing up, and when it comes to stretching, I can be a wee bit lazy.

Excuses? Yes. I have a million of them. I just keep on making them, though. And when I actually want to run 20 kilometres or more and find myself feeling under the weather when I’ve barely done 10, it’s frustrating. Last week I did 6 on the Saturday. This week? 14. It’s not bad, but it’s not good.

Lack of motivation? Maybe. The Canberra Marathon Website, which promises the opening of entries in December, taunts me every day. December? This December? As in, right now? I’m starting to doubt that entries will ever open. Maybe there won’t be a marathon in April after all. Why should I bother pushing myself so hard, if there’s not even a marathon to work toward?

I’m hoping I’ll get my spark back soon. Surely I have to? In the meantime, I’ll just keep on plodding away.

Proof of concept win - Distance Fail

Distance: 19.90 km

Time: 2:18:36

So I got up at five thirty this morning. I had an upset stomach and a body that insisted it should still be asleep for at least another couple of hours, but all the same I sunscreened up, geared up, and set off. I didn’t get lost, or not for longer than a minute or two. I just kept going until I found my path again. I was having a great time until I realised that a.) I was remarkably tired, and more so than I should be, and b.) A quick calculation told me that I’d be short of my twenty five kilometre goal by about five kilometres. If I do this run again, I’ll probably take two laps around the lake instead of one, and maybe considering how tired I was, I probably shouldn’t be so eager to push myself up to twenty five kilometres quite yet. If I think I’ll have enough energy left, sure, but running around a lake that’s close enough for a limp home if I should fizzle out is a lot different from running around a lake so distant I’d need to catch a bus if things went wrong.

For now, I’m happy. Very tired. Anything involving standing up, walking or otherwise exerting myself is off the cards, but I’ve got a couch and I’ve got candy and that’s all I need.

Oh, and I almost forgot. I wore the crop top. I ROCKED the crop top. I got a few sideways glances, but nothing malicious. I guess a scantily clad runner laminated in sweat is not that uncommon a sight on the paths around the lake. I saw at least two, but they looked more like ‘real’ runners than I do. Not that my idea of what a real runner looks like is in any way based on fact.

For the curious, here’s a screenshot of my route. Don’t ask me why the time and distance are different from the above result. Whether it’s the calculation from the garmin or from the google-mapped route, I’m not sure.



Now, where did I put that candy?

Training plan - Exploring new boundaries.

Tomorrow morning I’m getting up at 5:30 so I can run 25 kilometres. Whether I achieve it or not is another thing. Also, I’ve decided to change up my route.

I’m going to do the usual, run to the lake, run around the lake, and run home. However, I’m going to run around a different lake. Lake Burley Griffin, as opposed to Lake Gininderra. Lake Gininderra is only about two or three kilometres away, but Lake Burley Griffin is about eight or nine kilometres away. I’m not going to run the whole lake, just the central basin, but all the same I feel like I’m doing something new and exciting rather than dull and boring.

To add to the fun, I’m going to run in a crop top, in public. If you should happen to be up and about at seven or eight in the morning tomorrow and think you might be in the vicinity of Lake Burley Griffin, or any of the intervening areas between Bruce and the City, consider this a warning. AVERT YOUR EYES! The midriff will be on full display, and that is a sight that will need some serious eye-bleach. No, seriously. I’m going to dare to bare, and I’m hoping the confidence will come naturally with the need to keep cool on a long run. I don’t need to be shy. I’ve got curves, but they’re all in the right places (mostly). As long as my SPF 30 holds out, I’m going to rock the skimpy short shorts and the tiny top with pride.

WATCH OUT CANBERRA, HERE I COME.

And she's still got it!

Distance: 21:07 km

Time: 2:24:17

There was actually another half a kilometre in there, but I tried to unlock the bezel on my garmin at one point and accidentally stopped the timer. It was a little while before I noticed.

I’m happy that I managed to run so far, because I haven’t done so in more than a month. I don’t know how long it takes to lose fitness, but as I still had some left in the tank at the end I think I can start pushing it a little further next week. I was worried that I’d have to do 20k runs for another month or two before increasing. Guess I underestimated myself.

I can’t remember the second lap around Lake Gininderra, but it must have been good. Was I asleep? Was I in the zone? I was listening to one of the old Nerdist podcasts. I can’t really remember that either.

Next week, I’ll bring some food along. Or that gel I got at the half marathon this year, the one that’s been sitting in the fridge ever since. I’m sure it’s still edible, in one sense or another.

Peep.

It’s been a terrible week. I’ll update when I have an opportunity to do so.

Quantity, Quality, and Bacon.

If somebody came to me when I was at my largest and definitively said to me that it was impossible to lose weight unless I cut out butter, bacon, cheese, pasta and bread, would I still be overweight?

Probably. Maybe. There is a possibility. If I believed them.

The problem with these sort of restrictive diets, the ones that really cut deep and eliminate every favourite food, is that my brain, at the very least, tries to sabotage me. It tells me I am never, ever ever going to have bacon again, and at the first sign of weakness, that’s where I’d dive. Into a big, crispy pile of delicious salty bacon. Even if I was given a reason why I should be cutting out bacon. Even if bacon was carcinogenic, and I knew it. Studies have shown that nitrosamines, which are found in quantity in preserved meats such as bacon, IS carcinogenic. But does this knowledge stop me, in this hypothetical universe? No. Why? It’s for the same reason that I will rarely pass up a cigarette if one is offered. It’s because I’m stupid. In other words (nicer, less accurate words), I’m only human. My brain wants what my brain wants. Instant gratification.

Okay, so this is the hypothetical situation, but is it really so hypothetical? When I was at my largest, a variety of people told me a variety of things. Cut out carbs, cut out fats, cut out processed foods. Bacon? Are you kidding? Why should you even need to eat bacon? It’s a luxury food, not a dietary requirement. I was told all these things, on a daily basis. But in the end, what worked? I didn’t cut out a single one of these things. Well, except for white bread. But that was by choice. I didn’t adjust the content, just the quantity.

I’ve been reading recently about a researcher who was trying to prove the age-old concept of weight loss as an equation of calories in versus calories out. For a period of ten weeks, he survived on a diet of almost entirely snack food. Snack cakes, corn chips, candy, cookies and the like. CNN calls it “the convenience store diet” or “the twinkie diet” and I picked up various other designations from other news services. One article stated that he had a protein shake every now and then, and a multivitamin tablet. But all the same, he lost weight on a horrible diet due to the simple equation of calories in, calories out. He limited his intake to 1800 calories a day, and despite the actual content of the food he was eating, he lost weight. Nobody would ever recommend living on a diet like this. For a start, if you had to limit yourself to 1800 calories, that’s not a lot of junk food. It is a lot of healthy food, however, and the bottom line is that I prefer eating quality and quantity over a small amount of instant gratification.

But if you can fit it into your daily calories, why not have some bacon? Why not have real butter instead of that horrible fake-tasting margarine? Why do people always turn to these fake junk-food healthy substitutes, but then fail to lose their weekly kilo? It’s because a pita bread with fresh tomato, crumbled feta and roasted vegetables IS something healthy and delicious (if you’re into that sort of thing) but it ISN’T a pizza, and no amount of positive affirmation will make your brain think it is. You could try to stop wanting pizza instead. That’s probably a healthier way to go about things. Or, you could do as I do and treat yourself to a SMALL slice of good quality real pizza on a day when you’ve had an awesome workout. Without eating the whole pizza. The real achievement is to stop when you’re ahead. One slice of pizza won’t kill you, if it’s within your daily intake limit, but four will probably set you back. Good things in moderation. Or in the case of bacon, delicious yet carcinogenic things in moderation.

I believe that people these days are too addicted to blaming everybody else for every problem in their lives. Your diet is one of the things that YOU can control completely. You choose, ultimately, every thing that you put in your mouth. I’m not going to waste my time on tofu and lettuce if I don’t want to, and I’ve lost 20 kilograms without having to waste a second on these things.

I hope this makes sense, but I had to vent a little.

Faster than I remember

Distance: 6.3 km

Time: 34:28

The Ben Donohoe Fun Run, as usual, was a short and sweet one. But shorter than I remember it being. I stood too far back at the beginning so when the people around me crossed the start line, THEY KEPT WALKING and completely refused to let me through. This was a temporary setback, but irritating all the same. How was I supposed to know I was standing in the midst of walkers? I did a very good time compared to last year, and I beat Kermit the Frog. It’s the little things that count.

I hurt my right buttock somehow, maybe pulled a muscle or something. And I forgot to use the vaseline, even though I chose to wear short shorts. So I’ve got a little chafing. It hurts.

Heading off to Sydney in a few hours for work, and my brain is fried so I’d better go do something constructive.

A race plan. It's not a good plan, but it's a plan.

After missing last week’s long run, I felt amazingly fresh for the run home on Monday. It was nothing spectacular, but I didn’t feel as bone-weary as I had the previous week. Next week Im not sure how I’m going to fare, as I’m heading to Sydney for work on Monday and Tuesday, and don’t know how much running I’m going to get done while I’m there. What’s more, I’m running the Ben Donohoe Fun Run tomorrow morning, so I may not really be up for any running at all next week.

The Ben Donohoe is a short one, only 6.3 kilometres around Lake Gininderra. It’s also a small one. Timing chips aren’t issued, so there’s official times only for the first couple of hundred finishers. I never fit into that category, so I’ll have to time it on my Garmin. As it’s such a familiar route and distance, I’m going to go out full blast, just to see what my capacity is. I’ll aim for 5:30 kilometres, but it depends on how I feel on the day. I’ll push the last kilometre to 5:00, or maybe even 4:45, if I have the energy left.

In other news, apparently the Canberra Marathon is going ahead next year. I was obviously assuming that it wouldn’t be when I set my mind on the Road Running Festival in May. That might not even go ahead. I’m not sure. But if the Canberra Mara does, it’ll be in April, not May. The entry fee is outrageous, also. I think I can get my act together in time.

The Curse of Ennui

I never did manage to run 20 km last weekend. I felt like crap, as anticipated, and decided that 14 was long enough for me. I thought I’d pick up the slack this week. Didn’t quite turn out as planned, either. I did run home two days in the last week, but not very quickly or energetically. And yesterday, I didn’t run at all.

I could beat myself up about this, but I don’t think anything would be gained by it. I could get upset about how lazy I’ve been with my eating, but what is obsessing about my weight going to solve? I haven’t gained any weight, not really. I don’t need to lose any more weight, even though I occasionally think about those last two kilograms.

I’ve got the Ben Donohoe fun run next weekend. I’ll run home a couple of days this week, maybe even ride to work a couple of days. I’ll use a bit of willpower when it comes to snacks, or then again I might not. And I’ll try to blog a bit more often. But I’ll try not to feel guilty if I don’t. For now. I just don’t need the guilt right now.

Foreshadowing

Well, it’s twenty five past eleven on a Friday night, I’m drunk and there’s probably at least half an hour left of this movie. I still intend to get up and run twenty kilometres early in the morning. Will I succeed? Chances are that I will, but it will be painful and I’ll regret my late night. But as I lack the ability to turn back the clock, I’ll just have to harden up and deal with it. Let’s see what happens.

Needs moar content.

Time it took to run home today: 41:02

Time it took to run home on Monday: 40:09

I promise I’ll make the effort to write a post with actual content at some point. When you’re boring even yourself, you know you’ve gotta change things up a bit.

I ran home on Monday. It was good. Entirely uneventful. Went to Zumba on Tuesday. It was awesome. My butt is still sore because at one point I ran backwards at velocity into a metal pole. And yes, there is no way of phrasing that without it sounding just the slightest bit suspicious.

The weather is starting to get warmer, and sooner or later I’m going to have to give up the pack, abandon my stuff at work overnight and run with my bumbag for the essentials. As the weather heats up, I get back to wishing I had a completely flat stomach. It’s good, better than it used to be, but when I run I can’t hold my core in so I look a bit... Well. I know I shouldn’t focus on that, and I’m sure I look ridiculous enough when running, but man would it feel good to be able to run in a crop top in the middle of summer and be confident about it.

I am so hungry right now. Oh man.

Distance: 20.14 km

Time: 2:22:46

This morning I managed to drag myself out of bed at 6:30, and I was out the door by 7 am. It was raining just a little, it was frighteningly windy and it was absolutely freezing. I must have looked like an absolute tool, with my hood pulled up over my baseball cap and tied under my chin like I was Kenny from South Park or something, but I had the notion that my ears may well fall off if exposed to that wind. I took it easy, kept it slow, and I think the time attests to that. My average heart rate was 140, which is sort of what I was going for.

We’ve been having some pretty awful weather here in Canberra over the last week or so, and at one point I saw a huge dead tree that had snapped in half during the high winds, both halves still vaguely attached, and the top half sort of gently resting on another tree. It looked like a broken twig, even though it was a tall gum tree. I knew it had only snapped this week, as it could obviously fall any time it felt like doing so, and someone would hopefully come and lop it down before that happened. There were branches down on the path, and little mini-floods everywhere I looked. I was only thankful that it wasn’t raining any harder.

At one point, for about two minutes, it actually snowed. I wouldn’t have minded it, if all the rain had been replaced by snow. Snow is at least a novelty.

I think I might have to keep my long runs at 20k for a while. I didn’t feel too tired at the end of today’s run. In fact, I ran another five hundred metres or so after stopping the timer at a fairly brisk pace, not quite a sprint. I wasn’t quite home yet, but walking was boring. I just think that two and a half hours is quite an investment, and anything longer than this will probably require food of some description. As it is, I’ve burned quite a few calories. According to my heart rate monitor, I burned 7500 or so kilojoules (about 1800 calories) in this morning’s run and there’s nothing as inspirational as feeding that information into my calorie tracking software and having it tell me I need to eat another 13219 kilojoules (or 3162 calories) today.

Oh. Is that all? I guess two and a half day’s worth of calories will have to do me for the day. I feel so deprived. :P

Sometimes the tough times seem more like the truth.

I haven’t written since Monday, even though I ran home on Thursday and I didn’t even forget my Garmin. It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t easy and it hurt like hell. I don’t know why it should be easier for me to write about the easy runs, the uneventful runs, the runs that all blend together, but I find it harder to talk about those runs that tell me the most about where I am right now and what I need to focus on to get where I need to go.

It was raining on Wednesday. After Zumba on Tuesday night I might not have been particularly enthused about the thought of running home in any case, but when I heard the rain pelting down on Wednesday morning, that was definitely the clincher. I get in the habit of thinking that I’m fit and I can handle pretty much anything, but every now and then I overdo it and really notice it the next day, or even the day after the next. I had a great workout at Zumba, but even now I have some residual twinges in my legs and my arms. So I took Wednesday off.

Thursday was fine, a wee bit warm, even. The only thing that I thought might be an issue was that I could barely walk, let alone run. Wednesday, I hurt a bit. Thursday, I ached all over and my inner thighs were so tight I felt myself walking like a penguin most of the day with my feet turned out. I assumed that after half a kilometre things would stretch themselves out and I’d be fine, but I didn’t anticipate being in ABSOLUTE AGONY most of the way. My back was dripping with sweat, my shoulders screaming from the weight of my fully laden pack. I felt like I was going to snap a tendon any moment. The run took a couple of minutes longer than usual, which actually doesn’t sound all that bad in retrospect. Given how terrifying the entire run was, I would have expected five minutes longer, so I should be happy with two, given the repeated walk breaks and extended interlude when I tried to find appropriate music on my iPod. At the time I thought it was vital and necessary to stop and walk to find some music. I know I wasn’t fooling anyone.

What does this run teach me? Maybe I should be stretching a little more carefully after Zumba. Maybe I should have run Wednesday, to prevent everything tightening up. Maybe I didn’t refuel properly. There’s a lot of things I can infer from Thursday’s scary and unpleasant experience. I know I have to expect these sorts of things occasionally.

Tomorrow morning, it will probably still be raining. But I’ll get up, I’ll gear up, and I’ll go for a 20 kilometre run. Whether I will manage to complete it remains to be seen, but I’m going to try my best not to let one bad run get me down.

These hills are pretty hilly, aren't they?

Time it took to run home: 41:14

Running with a heavy pack is annoying and uncomfortable but I think I’m getting used to it. I didn’t really think about it on today’s run, even though I had my big heavy work boots in there. Sometimes I just leave them at work because the thought of an extra kilogram makes my back twinge in remembered agony. The hills still seem nasty (or maybe I should say ‘hill’ because it’s really only one very long and steep hill) but I’m also getting used to that. Every run isn’t easy, but today’s was less annoying than most. I took my time, chilled out, listened to my audiobook. Just finished one Charlaine Harris book and started the next. I think it’s Definitely Dead. Not sure.

I stood on a piece of glass at some point, maybe here at home, and there’s an unpleasant little gash on the sole of my foot. Whether that will effect my running or tomorrow night’s Zumba class remains to be seen. All I know is I’m really looking forward to Zumba. It seems like a lot more than two weeks since last term ended.

OW. Ow. Ow. Also yay, but ow.

Distance: 17.64 km

Time: 2:00:45

It wasn’t an easy run this morning. My right ankle is still feeling a little odd at the outset, and I’m starting to worry that it might be wear in my shoes that’s causing it. I don’t want to buy new shoes until about maybe February or March next year because I don’t think my Lunar Glides could possibly have worn out to any extent yet. I think I got them in December or January. They should be fine for months yet.

I realised only about five or six kilometres in that my energy would not last. I realised that my tank was only half full, and depleting rapidly. I don’t have to think very hard about it to know why. Have I been fuelling myself properly? Probably not. Have I been tired? Definitely. This week, including this morning’s run, I’ve run approximately 38.4 kilometres.

“That’s nothing.” The mean little voice inside me says. The one that equates change with loss of control, and progress with risk of injury. “That’s nowhere even close to your lofty marathon goal, and it took a whole WEEK. You’re never going to go the distance. Give up.”

This voice is quieter now than it used to be, and I find no difficulty in ignoring it most of the time. I’ve got more than six months to build up my distance. The reason this week FEELS so much harder is that I’ve been building my weekly mileage a bit quickly.

Last week, in total, I ran about 31.6 kilometres. The week before, it was about 26. Going from 26 to 31 to 38 doesn’t seem like a lot, but it’s more than 10% each week, which is the recommended increase to prevent injury. Does that mean that I’ll go slower? Maybe, I’d like to think so, but probably not. Apart from this morning’s run which was so hard it verged on not fun, I really enjoy this whole running lark. It’s one thing I’m having no difficulty in achieving. It’s the easy win, and it really pumps me up.

I wanted to push through to 20k this morning, but decided that would be overkill on top of overkill, and turned back. Next week, maybe. I’ll see.

Running under pressure

Time it took me to run home: 39:10

It was a fairly quick run home tonight, and it feels like a shorter run than it used to, which is good. Building up the distance is still going to be hard, but if 40 or so minutes can feel like a quick jog, four and a half hours can’t be all that much harder, can it?

I also ran on Tuesday, but forgot my Garmin and apart from needing to go to the toilet quite badly and having to stop twice during the run as a result, it was uneventful.

At the moment, I’m listening to one of those motivational audiobooks, in an attempt to find something that works with the stress that I’m carrying around at the moment. I’ll get through the book in the next week or two, and hopefully there’s something that I can use to help me. I don’t have much of a problem with making goals, just a problem with the day to day to-do lists and motivating myself toward the longer term objectives. The only thing on my long term big goal list that I’ve even been working on is the big marathon goal, and I don’t know why. Is it easier to lengthen my long run and run home from work twice a week than it is to get a book finished and edit it? Maybe. I think I’m afraid of starting something that seems too daunting to finish. Maybe I have more faith in my running ability and my body than I do in my writing talent (or lack of talent, as the case may be).

Climb every mountain. Or at least every other mountain.

Distance: 8.74 km

Time: 1:05:55

This morning I set out to run up Black Mountain.

Predictably, I got lost.

I think I was supposed to follow the road a bit longer before turning onto the trail uphill, but I had no idea where I was going. I ran up a really steep, really narrow path, trying not to trip over on the loose gravel and fall flat on my face. I was keeping an eye out for Black Mountain Tower, which I hoped would be nearby. But then I got to a high point at which I could see past the trees. And I looked over at the other mountain. And there was the tower.

Fail.

Okay, so it wasn’t really another mountain. It was another part of the same mountain. But it was a high part of the mountain, and in order to get there I’d have to climb down the half of the mountain I was on. Rather than get even more lost, I turned around and headed back. I had to walk down because the loose gravel was terrifying.

I’ll definitely try running the mountain again at some time in the future, but if the real trail is as scary as the trail I took today, I probably won’t do it again.

This is where the fun part starts.

Distance: 15.79 km

Time: 1:46:33

This run was dedicated to my friend Scarlett, who is recovering from surgery. Big hugs from me, and I hope you get better soon.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” - Winston Churchill

I’m starting to get into the longer distance territory now, and I can feel it. There’s a transition when the muscles in my legs start to feel really tight and uncomfortable. Soon, when I’ve added another five kilometres to my long run, maybe I’ll get into the zone where they stop being tight and go slack and baggy, making it even harder to run.

My right ankle felt a little odd when I started out this morning, like my foot was striking on a strange angle and it was pulling on the inner side of the ankle. The feeling cleared up after a kilometre or two, and because there weren’t any other little niggles bothering me, most of the run was without incident. It started raining at the halfway point, but it never got past a sort of half-hearted sprinkle, and it gave up entirely about half an hour later out of boredom.

My planned trail wasn’t quite as long as I expected it to be, so I took a slight detour and extended the run, if not quite to the 16 km I planned, at least half a km closer than it would have been. I’m probably going to have to find another path son, because when I get to the 20 km run, I’ll probably have to circle Lake Gininderra twice and that’ll get old really fast.

On Monday I’m hoping to take a jog up Black Mountain. I don’t know how achievable it is, but there’s nothing gained by not giving it a try.

Hope everybody enjoys their long weekend, and if you should happen to not be having a long weekend, my most heartfelt sympathy goes out to you.

Is this week over yet?

Distance: 6.05 km (not sure why the distance is so variable)

Time: 42:38

Had a slow run home this evening. I got out of work late, wasn’t really feeling it. I was actually on the verge of just catching the bus home instead, but I told myself to STFU, HTFU and got my ass out there. I wore some of my larger-sized running socks tonight, the good ones not just the cheapo ones from Target, and my toes don’t feel as bad as they did on Tuesday. So there is that, at least.

Note to self: Bring a jacket next time.

Distance: 6.12 km

Time: 41:02

Is it just me or are sports socks a complete pain in the ass? I have size 10 feet, so I usually buy the larger ladies size of sport socks (9-11) but usually find that the heel cap sits somewhere in the region of the back of my ankle for some reason. So then I buy some of the smaller ladies socks, and within a wash or two they don’t even come up to my ankle at all. I’m not sure what to do about it. I’m thinking maybe I should try wearing crew socks rather than the anklet style ones, because I’m prone to blisters and rubbing on the back of my ankle so I need to have some coverage there, but surely I’m not the only one having such issues with socks. I wore some of the smaller ones to work today (or maybe they’ve just shrunk) and my toes feel like I’ve been repeatedly and enthusiastically kicking a brick wall just for fun.

The run home from work was okay. I was a little tired, but I think I still made fairly good time. Was a little cold and windy, but it didn’t do me any harm. The running home seems to be helping with the work stress as well, although it’s not a cure. I tried to get back to my regular eating patterns today, and have been feeling absolutely starving as a result, but I’m sure I’ll find a balance soon.

Hooray for public holidays!

Distance: 3.80 km

Time: 22:37

I decided a quick jog this morning would be best, as I still plan to run home from work two days this week.

I’m trying to overcome my hill dread, a fear that usually comes upon me on a familiar path when I know a hill is about to come up. I’m more capable of dealing with these hills than I used to be when I started running, but something inside me still shudders at the memory of trudging along the hard parts, panting and sweating and hurting. Apart from somehow giving myself amnesia so I don’t remember the hills the way they used to be, I don’t know how else to deal with them apart from going up them again and again, and hoping the repetition will become positive reinforcement. I know I can make it up these hills. I just have to turn my music up and drown out the world and try not to focus on the hill. Head up, shoulders back, keeping my cadence up even if my stride length goes down.

Actually, what I’m really curious about at the moment is beep tests. When I was applying for the armed forces I couldn’t manage to meet the basic Navy requirement because I was so unfit. Now, I wonder what result I would be capable of achieving. Surely I’d do better now. Not just because I have distance work behind me, because that doesn’t really help. I wonder if there’s somewhere around town I could go and do a beep test. Just out of curiosity.

Bio-mechani-whatsits and why I suck at natural movement.

Joggin... Apparently, ur doin it rong.

I run wrong. I might even go so far as to say I run funny. My gait is odd, my foot strike is variable and never perfect. I get shin pain, knee pain, hip pain, ankle pain. It depends on the day, the distance, my speed. There’s no single thing I’m doing wrong, but I blame myself because I never consciously make an effort to run correctly. I just get out there and put one foot in front of the other. Or in front of, and slightly to the left or the right depending on the foot. I have already been told by medical professionals that I do a lot of stuff incorrectly, so I’m not really surprised that I run funny as well.

My physiotherapist says that I hold my shoulders wrong, and as such I slouch in a manner that I shouldn’t. I’m damaging my neck, my spine, and will end up with an impressive hunchback if I don’t make a conscious effort. Shoulders down and back, boobs out. That’s what she told me, and no matter how much I would like to say that I do the stretches religiously every day, I know I don’t.

My dentist tells me that I clench my teeth in a manner that will probably lead to cracked teeth and crowns in the future. I have to make a conscious effort not to clench my teeth, and if that doesn’t work I’ll need to get a splint to wear at night. I’d like to say that I haven’t clenched my teeth since, but I’m sure I have.

All of these examples boil down to the same issue. I’m doing things wrong, not moving naturally, not behaving in the manner a human body should behave. Bad Frankie.

My question is - If the human body is supposed to move and respond in a certain way, why doesn’t it do so naturally, without a conscious effort? Could all these biomechanical issues be caused by external influences, such as bad shoes causing an incorrect gait, or heavy constricting brassieres causing rounded shoulders? Maybe. I think I’ve slouched for a lot longer than I’ve had boobs (even though they are quite heavy and I’m sure it’s a contributing factor. Despite my weight loss, the boobs have not shrunk), and how can external factors explain the teeth clenching? Unless you consider stress to be an external factor.

For the moment, I don’t know if I want to try running ‘correctly’, in the fear that I’ll mess things up even further because I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m just going to keep jogging along, and hopefully I won’t sustain any serious injury in the long run. If I can still keep going, I know I’m not doing myself too much damage. I’ll listen to my body, and it will tell me if something is really wrong.

When I’m in the shower after a long run, I listen to my body. All those little niggles I notice when I’m running, like the twinge in my left knee when the path is at an angle, or the slight ache in my ankle when I over extend, or the bruised feeling in my shins when I sprint, these things have already gone away. All I feel is the pleasant, far-away numb tingling in the balls of my feet as the hot water hits them. And I try really hard not to think that this is probably a circulation issue, also caused by my incorrect foot strike.

Oh well.

Image borrowed from Derp.com

I saw a galah nomming on clover. He was all like, What?

Distance: 14 km

Time: 1:37:29

I took it nice and slow this morning, bearing in mind that I’ve increased my mileage this week about 100%. I didn’t really pay much attention to the run. It was easy, thoughtless and over before I knew it. Podcasts are great for long runs because music always seems to grate on me after a while, or it makes me go too fast. My long slow run pace is at least a minute per km slower than my race pace, and I hit it squarely today. My average was 6:58 per km, and my heart rate hovered around 144 bpm.

I don’t know what else to say about today’s run. I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it, but the distance capability is there even though I haven’t used it in a while. Next week I might try for 15 or 16, but I’ll see how I go.

Gonna sleep well tonight.

Distance: 5.91 km? (I assume. I left my garmin at home)

Time: Approx. 44 minutes.

I ran home again. It wasn’t quite as speedy a trip as it was on Monday, but I did stop to chat with Mum for about 30 seconds or so, stopped at a couple of lights for what seemed like forever, and when my audio book ran out I stopped to change my playlist. I almost beat the bus, and I’m sure I actually would have if it hadn’t been for the delays. What I’m really feeling right now is the fatigue. When I was only running once a week I didn’t really get fatigued, but I’ve been exhausted this week. I had Zumba last night and had enough difficulty dragging myself out of bed this morning that I anticipate some real issues tomorrow.

I’ve been trying to keep my food intake steady to test my theory regarding my weight equilibrium, but it’s been a tough and somewhat stressful week so far. I’ve developed a worrying addiction to McDonald’s soft serve cones with Flakes in them, and so far this week I’ve had three of those. Plus extra snacks. Plus beer. I’m not worried. I’ll watch my weight and if I see any sort of upward trend I’ll adjust. I think my body is trying to keep my energy up because of the extra exercise, and I think I’m on target to actually lose a couple of hundred grams this week.

I think my Saturday long run might be a little bit more difficult than it usually is if my muscles haven’t had time to recover. I’m intending to go for 14km, as it’s a nice easy brainless around-the-lake-and-back-again route.

Take that, bus fares!

Distance home: 5.91 km

Time to get home: 40:49

Hey! I ran home! Not really all that impressive, as I’ve done it before at least three times, but I ran the whole way, even with a heavy pack, and it didn’t seem anywhere near as gruelling as it used to be. I don’t have any heart rate data because I wasn’t able to wear my monitor, but it felt like I was working pretty hard even though I wasn’t going all that fast. I think the extra weight was making the difference. I’m wondering if I should do it again tomorrow, but I think I’ll stick to the plan and run it again on Thursday. Don’t want to blow my knees or damage my shins from upping the weekly mileage too quickly.

What I’m really hoping to do is try to keep my food intake the same despite the extra exercise. I feel the urge to eat a little more just to keep myself fuelled, but I’m curious to see what will happen if I don’t cave in to the temptation. We’ll see.

Is it still a recovery run if it's a whole week later?

Distance: 5.84 km

Time: 42:26

So yeah, I’ve probably been using an incorrect notation for time up until now. I’m fixing it now.

I wasn’t feeling 100% this morning so I didn’t run 10k as planned. Okay, that’s not entirely accurate. I didn’t run the full distance because I forgot to wear my gloves, and my hands were cold. It sounds really pathetic when I say it like that, but I’m going to dismiss it as a really slow recovery run and try to do 10k next week when I’m not feeling so blah. I’m hoping to run home at least two days next week, probably Monday and Thursday. I was talking to someone the other day who told me that running home from work might stop me being so stressed, because when I catch the bus I tend to hold on to the stress of the day. Then I can’t sleep, wake up cranky, build on more stress when I have to go back to work.

When I run, I forget about most things that bother me. I might get a little rage-y when I’m pumped (sometimes insanely so, but that’s a topic for another time), but that’s more likely to happen at Zumba then on a jog. I just can’t get in the zone as easily on a short run.

Edit:

I got my result back for the Canberra Times 10k. My official chip time was 56:01. Only three seconds off my Garmin time. Pretty good.

Eye of the Tiger, baby!

Canberra Times Family Fun Run & Walk 2010

Distance: 10 km

Time: 55’58” (according to my Garmin - Official Net Results still to be released)

Even though I was hoping to come in at under an hour on this race, I never really expected to come in at a time this good. For half the race I assumed that my Garmin was malfunctioning, actually. To take a full twelve and a half minutes off last year’s result is a dream come true for me, and it makes me even more eager to get into marathon training as soon as possible.

Because I like graphs and things, here’s this year’s run, kilometre by kilometre:



I’m super excited and really, really hungry. My heart rate stayed up at about 175 the entire time, so I’ve burned a lot more than I usually would in a 10km run.

Hope everyone else is having a super awesome Sunday morning!

Maybe I'll call it an experiment.

Distance: 4 km (approximate - My garmin needs recharging)

Time: 22’00”

So, today I had two bottles of beer at and around lunch, yelled for a little bit (mostly at myself) and then I went for a punishing 4km run, disregarding any common sense that warned me to keep some in reserve for the fun run tomorrow.

It was awesome in the sense that I managed a hilly 4k in 22 minutes flat, the same 4k I used to run in about 28 minutes. Not so awesome in the sense that I didn’t realise how dehydrated I was, and although I’m fine, I might not have been. My judgement may have been the teeniest bit impaired.

We’re going out tonight, after dinner. Although I know that running with a hangover is almost as idiotic as running drunk, it’s certainly not the first time I’ve run a race after a few drinks the night before. By the time I’m sober and awake, I might be halfway through the race already.

I think I should go hydrate some more.

I'm not lazy, I'm tapering.

Is it that time again?

Tomorrow morning I’ll be running the 10km event at the Canberra Times Family Fun Run & Walk, which is a really bulky title for a fun run, although not the worst I’ve ever heard. This is the third time I’ve run this race, and as far as races go it’s flat, fast and fun unless it’s rainy or windy. The first year I ran, it was both. I wore a big heavy jacket, which got even heavier when it was soaked. So I took it off, and froze half to death in the wind. My iPod decided it was on strike, making it the first run of any sort of distance that I had attempted without that particular distraction. My Nike+ Sportband was hideously inaccurate and as such not a lot of help in estimating my pace.

Last year was a little better. I took almost eight minutes off my time from 2008. I knew my limitations a bit better. I didn’t stop to walk at all. I had my Garmin 405 to help me keep a good pace, even though I didn’t know how to use it yet. Better shoes. No rain.




Last year’s run, as mediocre as some of the splits were (I’m looking at you, 8th km).

I took this screenshot from Rubitrack, which is the software I use to gather my Garmin run data, and my Nike+ data as well, to keep it all in one place. I love this sort of technology, adore how flashy it is but I’m not sure if it’s actually all that useful. I guess I might be able to use it to gauge my progress when I compare it with this year’s run. Most of the time, I just use Rubitrack to tell me my calorie burn, because Garmin Connect either doesn’t use my HRM data or miscalculates shockingly.

Right now I’m wondering whether a short jog later today might be helpful or harmful to my race time tomorrow. I need to work out but I’m not in the mood to do Zumba or pull out the Jillian Michaels DVDs. I usually taper before a race, even though my concept of ‘tapering’ generally consists of just neglecting to exercise for the week or so before the big day. Oh well. I stick by my terminology.

Running in the Rain and the definition of 'Awesome'

It was 7:45 on Saturday morning, and as far as I was concerned, everything was awesome. It was pouring with rain but it wasn’t too cold or windy. My knees felt good, my feet felt better and I was about fifteen minutes in to what seemed like it was going to be a fantastic 10k training run. I’m not going to pretend that it was a uniformly wonderful run or that I loved every minute of it. However, in this moment, (before my shoes filled up with water and my jacket got so heavy with rain that I had to take it off and run in my tank top, soaked to the bone) I was perfectly happy with the world.

Back when I started running, I had to be deluding myself if I had claimed to be loving it. When I couldn’t run more than thirty seconds without my heart bursting through my chest or my vision swimming, I knew full well that I was putting myself through a sick and masochistic form of torture. I was running to a goal, not for fun but for a proposed future career in the armed forces. I hated running. I hated being fat and slow and uncoordinated. I hated every single step.

I progressed. I got better at running. Thirty seconds, one minutes, five minutes, then twenty. I pushed myself further so I could feel hardcore, like a real athlete. I was still slow, still fat, still uncoordinated. But I told myself I was having a great time, and most of the time I believed it, even when the blisters on the back of my feet burst or my shin splints had me prostrate in agony for hours at a time. I told myself ‘this is awesome’ when I felt a cross between boredom and extreme self-hatred. I played my music really loud to drown out the tedium. I told myself it would at some point get fun.

It did. I’m not sure when it did. I think I’m still slow, although not as slow as I was. I’m not still fat, though. I dropped out of the ‘overweight’ designation some six months ago, at least. As for uncoordinated, I took up dancing so I still have the opportunity to feel unco whenever I want to. I ran my second City 2 Surf last month. I ran my first Half Marathon in May. I’m running a 10k fun run on Sunday, with the hope of breaking 60 minutes for the first time.

I think I’m having fun. Maybe I’ve just gotten so good at deluding myself that I can’t tell the difference any more. I would like to put it to the test, and on the weekend I decided on the perfect way of testing whether I actually do love this running business.

Next year in May, if the race is held and everything goes according to plan, I intend to run my first full Marathon. 42.2km, double the length of my longest run to date. I’m giving myself plenty of time to achieve this, so maybe I’ll go so far to aim for a time of less than five hours as well. We’ll see. If I could run a Half with only one training run a week, I’m confident that I can run a sub five hour marathon with three or four training runs a week. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I could even come in at four and a half hours. It’s exciting, it’s daunting, and it is (at a risk of overusing my favourite word) the most awesome thing I could think of to do before I turn 30 and officially become an old person.

I intend to document my progress here. So if you want to know how I’m going, stick around. It’s going to be a fun eight months or so. Depending on your definition of ‘fun’, that is.