One thing I love about long weekends is how long they are. Wow, that sentence was remarkably redundant. I’ve missed the point I was trying to make, somehow. So anyway, long weekends are great, aren’t they? I’ve been feeling odd today. Jumpy. Energetic. Kinda distracted. I just can’t concentrate on anything. So I went for a run at about midday, just chucked my Garmin on a charge (it was flat) and did the same with my iPod touch because I can’t find my Nano. Then I just ran.
Ridiculously fast, it would seem. I went ten kilometres, and all in under an hour. I didn’t feel like I was running at race pace, just running. So maybe I am getting faster after all. My theory is that I was going faster to try to keep myself focused, in some subconscious way. Whatever, it worked. Feeling good, folks. Apart from, well... there were a few things.
Children on freaking bicycles, and those stupid scooter things. What goes through their minds? Oh, there’s a girl running in this direction. She seems to be wearing a skirt. How strange. Maybe I should stay on the same side of the path that I have previously found quite suitable for my purposes up until now. Maybe... No. I’m going to swerve onto her side of the path. And just stop. Because I am a douchebag.
I didn’t want to say this, but children are such dickheads when they want to be. I’m not talking about teenagers here. No. I’m talking four year olds, six year olds. Maybe a few of them were seven or eight. Every single one of them singlemindedly determined to make me run straight into them and topple ass over tit. Who would be the bad guy in this scenario? That’s right. I would be. How dare I knock over little Ethan on his brand new razor scooter that he got for his fifth birthday? I’m some sort of monster. Why couldn’t I just run on the grass and leave the path for these assholes and their asshole children?
</rant>
Yeah, running in the park at midday was fun, but a little more crowded with inconsiderate dicks than usual.
And that’s not to mention the bees.
I’m going to mention the bees now.
Across the road from my apartment building is the CIT Bruce campus. They’ve been doing it up, prettifying the joint, with cool educational TAFE-y things like greenhouses. Agriculture stuff. And, unfortunately, a big long row of beehives. You wouldn’t think it’d be a problem to have that many beehives right next to the fence, would you?
I think the bees went out for walkies this morning. I was running along, adjusting my iPod because I’d already heard the podcast that it was playing. And then I saw a bee. I was all like ‘agh! bee!’ and I ran a bit faster to outrun the bee. In doing so, I ran right into A GIANT MOTHERFRICKIN SWARM OF BEES. I’m talking dozens of the little bastards. Maybe a hundred. Maybe two hundred. A whole lotta bees. They don’t like people running through their midst. Especially people who are in the process of freaking out because they just ran into a swarm of bees. So yeah. The bees chased me. I may have yelped, I wouldn’t say I screamed, but I’ll accept that there could have been a yelp there. I ran out onto the road to escape the bees. A car almost hit me. I think I had a pretty good excuse. I hope the guy saw the bees and didn’t just think I was an asshole runner who ignores road rules.
I don’t like bees.
But I didn’t get stung, so it’s all good.
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