In the almost two and a half hours of my long run this morning, I constructed a list of the ten most annoying things in the world at that particular point in time.
- My shoes are crunchy.
- I ran Tough Mudder a couple of weeks ago, and for some inexplicable reason decided to wear my good shoes. I washed them thoroughly afterward, but they’re still very stiff and uncomfortable because of the left-over mud.
- My bra is pissing me off.
- The straps fall off my shoulders because I didn’t adjust them properly. I had to stop at one point for an impromptu striptease so I could fix the bra. Didn’t really work.
- I lost my handkerchief, somewhere.
- Think it fell out of my stupid bra.
- My nose is running like a broken tap.
- Despite the hayfever tablets. Where the hell did all that snot come from?
- The sunscreen is stinging my eyes.
- I think I’m allergic to it. However...
- I’m getting sunburnt anyway.
- Sigh.
- My feet hurt.
- There’s this weird stretchy pain in my left foot, I can’t really describe.
- Everyone keeps trying to run me over.
- Yes, lady in the hotel carpark. I AM running past you. Why do you look so shocked? Perhaps you shouldn’t be staring at that cyclist the whole time.
- Cyclists!
- There is not enough room on a tiny concrete footpath for me and you on your recumbent bicycle. Also, yes, I am as far over on the left of the path as I can be. Stop yelling at me. While this would normally be the absolute worst thing in the world during most runs, there was one more event blew the worst cycle-clown hijinx out of the water.
- A bunch of old people in a car are taking a Sunday morning drive down the footpath.
- Seriously, this shit is TERRIFYING.
Moral of this story is that old people are scary, and even though I can sometimes get a run in on a Sunday, I’m sure as hell not going to be happy about it.
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